Who am I, why I blog, why you should care

I am a nurse and  I work for Hell's Hospital. That's not the real name of the hospital.

I'm not allowed to give you the Real Name of the Hospital, or anyone in it, because like any form of Hell, they have a surplus of lawyers. And come to think of it - doctors.

I'm 26 and although I love my job, I also hate it. Because on one hand you have the whole healing New Age good kharma care-for-those-who-need-it thing but on the other hand, you also work 12 hours a day and get poop in your hair.

I was inspired to write this blog after my colleague, Cheery Nurse, sent me a poem. Now before I start, I need to say a little something about Cheery Nurse. Cheery is not my friend but we are inevitably thrown together from time to time. The reason we are not, cannot, and will never be friends is:

1. She believes in Holistic Nursing.

Not doesn't she smoke or drink or consume vast amounts of the cellulite-inducing caffeine brews from the cafeteria LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, she also believes in the power of lavender and whale song as a means of pallitive care.

2. The e-mail "poems" she sends me

Even though she never seems to have five minutes to clean her station, she somehow miraculously pulls together enough spare time to create (and forward) 5-minute long powerpoint e-mail forwards that take about 2 years' to download and then blast "What a Wonderful World" at full volume JUST as Nurse Matron Ratched approaches from the hallway.

This was the poem I received in my inbox this morning...please use the power of your imagination to add the accompanying images of Jesus, white doves flying towards the light, hands folded in prayer and prayer beads draped worshipfully over an open Bible:

There are times in our lives when we sit down and wonder where our lives will lead us.
Sometimes we get so caught up in our jobs that we forget what we truly represent.
We get frustrated, aggravated, pushed to the limits and so mentally tired that we feel what is the use in being a Nurse.
But then someone gives us a weak smile or holds our hand and may say "thank you, you are so special."
The we feel the warmth growing in our hearts.
All the bad feelings disappear and replaced by the core values that we present:
human dignity, compassion, dedication, integrity, stewardship, leadership and excellence.
So when the bad feelins begin to show take the times to say this prayer:
Lord, help me to bring comfort where there is pain.
Courage where there is despair.
Acceptance when the end is near.
A touch gentle with tenderness, patience, and love.
And, always remember, all Nurses are truly blessed.
For you see --- God gave of Hearts of Gold.

Mmmhmmm. I have a little poem of my own to counter that experience, using the ancient Japanese art form of the Haiku.

Vomit.
Beep Beep.
Spit. Beep. Blood.
On call.
Fuck.